I’m all about accessories. But I recently discovered my least favorite one, a type of necklace if you will. ‘Wait, Monica, I thought you were going to update us on how your surgery went?’ ….Yep, believe it or not, that’s how I discovered this dreaded necklace. Back to that in a moment. I’m officially two weeks out from my surgery day, and I’m so happy to say that everything went really well.
The surgery itself and the recovery were both everything I had imagined, and nothing like I had imagined. I went into the morning of surgery with a little bit of anxiety, but I was feeling good about things overall. I knew I would be staying at least one night at the hospital, so my mind was really just set on getting the surgery over with and getting back home as soon as possible. Bucky was with me every moment they would let him be, and of course they managed to give the poor guy a huge scare within moments of leaving my side. Apparently about 10min after they wheeled me toward the OR, he heard an announcement requesting the “rapid response team to report to OR for intubation issues”….and knowing that it was right about the timeline they would be putting me under, he immediately thought it could very likely be me that was having issues. So he was pretty anxious for the next hour till he realized it was clearly pertaining to someone else since no doctors or nurses had come over and alerted him to any problems. As for me, at that point, I was just enjoying a nice midday nap, haha.
I do remember waking up. I remember being mad because I had been dreaming and really just wanted to go back to sleep. But then I felt it. The nurses start asking you right away what your pain level is “on a scale of 1-10” and I immediately knew why. I could feel ALL of the pain and was quick to respond “8” ….”or maybe 9″….ok, and she’s putting something in my IV. The pain didn’t disappear instantly, but they did have it under control within about 15min or so, and honestly, after that point and throughout my recovery, the pain was never really all that bad. In fact, once I left the hospital the next day, I never needed anything more than some over-the-counter motrin here and there. I was in the big “waking up” room….(recovery room? I don’t know the technical terms here really) for what seemed like forever and I was pretty coherent as soon as I woke up. It was amusing to me to hear the nurses telling other patients “ok sir, you’re awake!! Surgery is over!! You’re awake! You need to breathe! How is your pain! Don’t forget to breathe!” The first time, I was a little worried that the person was actually having trouble breathing or something, but then I quickly realized they were saying that to EVERYONE. The poor guy next to me really had a rough go at it. He kept insisting to the nurse that his pain level was “still at a 9” even after she had made *many* additions of painkiller to his IV. Either he had really been through something pretty intense, or else his pain tolerance ranked right up there with the dreaded “man cold”. Given that he wasn’t screaming or writhing in pain, and that I could literally feel the nurse rolling her eyes the last time she added the good stuff to his IV, I’m gonna go with the latter. Luckily, I didn’t have to stick around much longer….I had heard the nurse call someone instructing which room to send my husband to, and soon they were wheeling me out to meet him in “my” room.
I didn’t sleep much that first night…hospitals are just not set up for comfort. And even though the pain really wasn’t bad all things considered, I just couldn’t get comfortable. So I basically spent the next 12hrs asking Bucky to fetch ice chips for me (thanks hun!). Everything looked good the next morning so around noon they said I could start getting my things together to head home. The ride home wasn’t so fun, but I was so happy to be in my own bed.
One thing I was totally not expecting was how emotional I would be, especially during the first day or two after surgery, but really even that whole first week. The realization of what my body had been through, the relief that it was over, the full reliance on my husband for every little thing because I was so sore/uncomfortable, and honestly just feeling ugly. Ok yes, you’re not supposed to feel like a supermodel right after surgery, but that’s not what I mean. After a mastectomy/reconstruction, things don’t look totally “right” at first. Everything is so swollen, the skin is kind of bumpy and yet tight at the same time, and you’re pretty bruised. I can promise you that within this two weeks of recovery I’ve gone from “will the girls ever look normal again?” to “ok, they actually already look pretty freakin good”…..so if you happen to be facing or considering a similar procedure, don’t worry. In fact, I really can’t speak highly enough of the surgeons that we chose to work with. Both of them put our minds at ease through the whole process and we knew we were in very capable and skilled hands. They both have proven to be perfectionists at what they do, and yet their personalities are so warm and easygoing – we truly felt like they really listened, they answered any questions and concerns very directly yet with encouragement, and they truly were looking out for my best interest in my specific situation. No two patients or their situations are identical, so this is so important. If you’re ever in a situation where you need to select a doctor/surgeon for a serious procedure, its so important that you choose someone who you feel completely comfortable with. It’s a stressful situation, but the right doctor will make you feel more like you’re dealing with a small speed bump rather than a large hurdle.
Ok, so back to those necklaces. I’ve already been asked a few times, “so what has been the hardest part of recovery?” and that’s such a tough question depending on when you ask! Honestly, recovery has really not been bad at all. Yes, there is soreness. Yes, it took about a full week to feel like my body was “reset” after the anesthesia and meds finally make their way out of your system. But if you were to ask the one think I disliked most, it would have to be these necklaces. They’re actually lanyards with clips at the end that held drains that were implanted in my sides. I was fully aware that I would have drains in, and that they were completely necessary to promote healing and help prevent infection. It’s just that I had pictured them differently in my mind. Smaller, much much smaller and more discreet, easier to manage….is what I pictured. In reality, they were more like soft plastic grenades with several feet of tubes hanging down from where they had been placed next to my incisions. Every single time I got up or even shifted my position in bed, I had to manage them to make sure I wasn’t about to accidentally rip them out of my body…or at least that’s what it felt like if they got tugged on in the slightest. Oh and the drains had to be emptied twice a day. Yeah, that’s a big NO for me. I’m a really tough girl. Too tough sometimes. But give me anything related to spiders or open wounds in my own body and I instantly turn into a huge baby. Thankfully, Bucky pretended not to mind it at all and measured/emptied/cleaned the drains like it was no biggie – while I looked away and whimpered. He’s a keeper, that hubs of mine.

Me with my least favorite “necklaces”
So, here we are two weeks after surgery, and I’m doing really well. I’ve had a slew of post-op appointments, all which have shown that everything is healing exactly how it should be. The drains were able to come out last week (thank you, Jesus!), and my stitches came out this week. They had sent all the tissue they removed to pathology – even though I had tons of testing done before the surgery, testing the actual tissue is the most accurate way to know exactly what is going on in there. Everything came back completely normal, with no signs of anything pre-cancerous brewing, so I was able to rest assured that all of this is being done 100% preventatively and to just eliminate future risk (REALLY REALLY thank you Jesus!). I’m so anxious to get back to my normal super-active self, but I’m abiding by doctor’s orders and taking things slowly. I’ve worn hats more than ever lately – its still tough to reach up high enough to do my hair, haha. And I am eternally grateful for the prayers, the childcare help, the meals, the care packages, and the endless kind words that have come from family and friends. Thank you for making all of this a little easier.
xo,
Monica